When the easiest things become the hardest things. It was so hard to hit that enter key a little while ago, so I thought, but a slight bump by an ankle biter at my side it was hit. It wasn't what I wanted to say though, not really, but there was no way to erase it now and go back. The panic set in and than there it was the dreaded response; 2 simple words; okie dokie, no fight, no why, no nothing, so maybe it was suppose to be said the way it was said? I hate those 2 words now, by the way! Why is everything so complex even simple things? So, I barely even remember writing that first paragraph, it was a few months ago, but I think it has to do with the same thing I need to get out of my system today. Sometimes what seems to be simple can be the hardest things to do. Maybe, we put it off for to long and now it's that lurking addiction that you can't help but think will fade someday. Sometimes the reasoning behind it all was never expected. It is something you never thought you would have to prepare for, so you were unprepared. Mixed emotions are a hard thing to deal with. I find myself with so many emotions. My emotions are jumping from anger, sadness, frustration, disappointment, and utter failure. One minute I am running coming around the corner with tears rolling down my face and the next happy or mad. I hate these feelings. I hate that I am nothing. Nobody. Everything to some and nothing to me.