Today is a great day! Tomorrow I will be turning 34, but I feel 24! I have worked really hard this last year to get healthy, become strong and to look good. I am not exactly where I want to be, but I don't completely duck by mirrors and windows anymore. I still hide from the camera as much as possible, but I am getting better at not completely taking myself out of the pictures. Hence, we got family pictures done that were much needed since the last one we had did not have Brody in them.
A couple years ago I was suffering with pains. I kept going to the doctors and they kept sending me to different specialist. After the last test I decided I was done. I wasn't going to die the way I looked, and so the journey began. The journey to look good in my coffin at my viewing! I still get the pains, but I am not sitting through another one of those agonizing test that are painful and humiliating! The pains are less frequent. So spread out that I don't even remember when the last one was. (well, Except over the July 4th holiday I had them, but before that it had been months!) I haven't ever been so open about how much pain I was in except with a few individuals. Sometimes by no choice they were just there, and there was no hiding the pain! The pains are in my left side of my head. They are sharp and burning, as soon as they start in my head my left side of my abdomen aches, and makes it so I can't walk, sit or even lay at times.
Running and strength training have been such a great release! Who would have thought that I would love to run? NOT me, I think Darin is even surprised. Do you know how many times they went running and I just had to sit at home, because I could not do it. I could literally run 30 seconds with out wanting to die! I will make it to a marathon one day! I hope by next summer actually. My training is going well, and with the help of my trainer, Robbie, I know I will make that goal! The support of Darin and my kids is so overwhelming as well! I have a great fan base, Darin being my #1 fan!
The stress of seeing my Kyle-Jay grow up so fast has been a hard thing to deal with, but running is getting me through those days that I want to curl up and turn back time. It feels like I just brought him home, and now he is getting ready to graduate, serve a 2 year mission, and he wants to leave home to go to a University out of state. Wow! I have had him in my life since such a young age. We have kind of grown up together and I promised God that if he helped me not mess him up that I would protect him, and now it's almost here; the time that I have to let him go on to the next stage of his life; adulthood! I know you will do great things. All my kids are amazing. I couldn't be more blessed! They all have this passion, and desire to do great things. I see them all work differently, but with the same results; accomplishments! They never give up and I am so grateful for the love and hard work they put into everything they do! It motivates me!
Well, I have shared a lot of things that I would normally keep to myself, but I am excited that I am conquering obstacles, and I owe a great deal of that to all you! I have the best friends in the world! You all are so very supportive!! Thank you! I love you!! xoxo
