How to Start! 

This is so new to me. I have always found writing a personal way to let myself out. To share it with others is terrifying. I think this may be a very therapeutic process for me. My walls will come down. I will be viewed in a whole new light. Which what I am finding out about everyone's assumptions is; I am such a better person in their mind than I should be given credit for. I wish I could live up to some of these assumptions. It's not that I am putting them out there, I think a lot of it has to do with how I look. For example people look at me and assume I am this soft spoken young lady. I am definitely judged daily on how I look. I look young.

 I don't put myself out there completely, because people assume things about me and when I don't live up to those assumptions they walk away. I have lost to many people I loved and put my trust in to, and when they find out that I am not this shy person they can't walk all over, it becomes to much of an effort. I am either greatly loved or hated. Sadly, there is no in between. I can't conform to the ways that people see me. I have to be true to myself, and to my faith. I found that self on August 21st, 1997 at the age of 18. That was the day I was baptized. I will blog about that day soon. It is a monumental day for me. 

Why do I think it is because I look young. I'll tell you. Every introduction, church, school, between friends, it gets brought up. It gets brought up so much that I find myself just saying it to get it out of the way. I have been at PTA functions where region people that I have talked to on the phone say, "oh, who are you" when I meet them in person. I respond; "Kristi Critchlow" and they comment back; "no, I know, Kristi, I've spoken with her". ( I think I know who I am) They view me as someone completely different, older, than I am. People will ask me when I graduated and than I can see them counting in their head to see how old I am. When I get asked by complete strangers how old I am I reply, Oh in my thirties, I owe it to Mary Kay. It kills them that I don't say my real age. It's usually people who say I can't believe you have a daughter who is whatever age she is at the time, and I was 22 when I had her. You should see their mouths drop when I say, oh she has a brother who is 5 years older. 

I don't know what this blog will entail, but I hope you will laugh and help me in my journey not try to live up to the standards I feel I must live up to, because I can't live up to them. I will however live up to being the best me I can be.